So at my junior high, I sit at a desk with TONS of English textbooks. Only the Sunshine textbooks are used for actual class, but as I've found myself with some extra time on my hands after writing, studying Japanese, and planning elementary school lessons, I've often turned to them for amusement. And what I've found: there's some pretty hilarious stuff in there! It's actually turned into a bit of culture study in some places as an interesting look into how the Japanese view and portray English.
The current textbooks in use in junior high schools are called Sunshine, aimed mostly at recitation of short dialogue. There are actually some really sad stories in there though! For instance the second year book has a whole 3 party story about starving elephants to death in zoos during the war, another talks about the plight of pets during the bombings, and the previous textbook New Horizon has a story about two children dying in the Hiroshima bombings. Sheesh. Speech contest here I come, right? Shudder...
Anyway, steering clear of that for now, let's get to the good stuff!
Sometimes it happens....There's a hair in my ramen. I once had a kid spot a tiny hair in his bowl of ramen during lunch and he complained to the teacher about it. She took one look, discarded the perfectly good bowl of soup, and got him a brand new one. It was probably his own hair anyway.
Sometimes you just have one of those days...I'm sure choir class is especially hard for pubescent junior high boys.
Oh no, looks a little too small. Aka me shopping in Japan.
When has anyone ever said this...? It aint stopping that little girl.
Oh dear, now we're getting into some cultural studies here. Unfortunately, as Japan is a highly homogeneous society, black people are a rarity in Japan, leading to a false misconception that black people are "scary." This guy's so unnerved to have a big scary black man speak to him in English all he can do is squeak out an "Yes I am!"
Eh, the very next page in the book?! Seriously. This reminds me of a scene in the movie "Love Com" (based on the manga - what isn't in Japan). The climax takes place during a school basketball game with the whole school watching, as one of the students has challenged the new hot teacher to a 'duel'. As soon as his team sees who the sexy teacher's brought with him, everyone panics. O.M.G. It's a giant black guy! Cause what could possibly be scarier than a giant black guy?! Agh!!! Run for the hills!!
"1. Keiko wrote a letter to Jim two years ago. 2. Keiko has waited for a letter from Jim for two years." Part three: Keiko better move on with her life.
This is the epitome of an all-American boy, as seen by the Japanese. Unfortunately you can't see his blonde hair and blue eyes.
'Cause pet alligators are totally a thing. Maybe in Florida.
This quite accurately describes Japanese life: lived in a mask. Yes, every outfit of life comes equipped with a mask. In case of emergency, break glass break out mask.
Did someone make a typo? Why is Tom so happy that soccer isn't fun?
Yasushi: "I need to study English". He looks studious, so we'll give it to him. Tsukushi: "I need money." At least he's honest. Atsushi and Kiyoshi: "I need to help my mother!" "I NEED to cook!" OMG.
This one is just...weird. What is he starting? Colonization? Why does he have to go; he probably just got there?! And after he just taught jellyfish aliens to speak English?! What a cliffhanger!
'Cause who doesn't do this when they've captured a baddie? The Japanese really are obsessed with the 'peace' sign. He's definitely posing for a picture for the papers.
More on Japanese textbooks in part two, coming soon!
Source: 英文法が楽しく分かるプリント 3rd edition
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