Money-Saving Strategies, as Told by Mr. Krabs

If there's one productive thing I did in my child, it's watching SpongeBob SquarePants and committing whole episodes to memory. (Geometry? Dump. Algebra? Shred. SpongeBob? KEEP. Fine-dining and breathing? Also keep).

One thing was certain: Since 1999 Mr. Krabs has proven himself a successful and money-savvy businessman. We can learn a lot of money-saving strategies from him. Not convinced? Let's take a closer look.

(Note: This only covers the first 3 seasons until 2005, which I consider to be the best and only quality episodes. I haven't watched the ones after that.)

Trash Is Treasure

One crab's trash could be another crab's treasure

If you're short on cash, take a look in your storage closet and see what items you could sell. If there's anything that doesn't fit or you simply don't need anymore, add them to the list! You'll make some extra cash and declutter at the same time. You never know, one crab's trash could be another crab's treasure.

Besides garage sales and swap meets, there are plenty of places you can sell old or unwanted items over the internet, like Poshmark, Mercari, Facebook Marketplace, Craiglist, eBay, and OfferUp, most of which are free to sign up. (It just so happens that I have some great items for sale, too!). And don't underestimate the power of haggling—for instance, even though Mr. Krabs wanted $5 dollars for an "antique soup ladle", he settled for $7 because Patrick didn't have small change.

And if you're like Mr. Krabs, who gifted his daughter an unwanted pair of squeaky boots, you don't let that stop you. To recoup his losses, he sold them to SpongeBob.

Make Every Penny Count

"Unhand the penny or the arm comes off!"

We live in a digital age of Apple Pay and credit cards where we rarely ever carry around cash (unlike the Japanese, who often pay for houses with it). It's easy to discount the value of a penny when you hardly ever see one.

But remember, even small savings add up to big ones. Don't be afraid to clip or scan coupons, use free rewards cards, or go to the cheaper gas station across the street, even if it's just a few cents different. There are also plenty of restaurants and other stores that offer freebies for accumulating points or that have stamp cards for each time you visit. And on the off chance you do happen to have loose change lying around, keep it, then take it to a bank, which won't charge a fee for counting it, unlike those money machines you see in grocery stores.

Although we can all agree the whole "Unhand the penny or the arm comes off!" line was overstepping it, the principal behind it is sound.

Cut Unnecessary Costs

"It's wasting money!"

Everyone is vulnerable to spending on non-necessities here and there, like concert tickets, movies, every model of Funko Pop, or all the attractive items listed on BuzzFeed (which is a lot). Make sure not to overdo it by spending a budget for your "fun" money—otherwise, you'll end up like Mr. Krabs, bent over his desk in misery when he thought about how much all of the "coral" items that his daughter Pearl insisted he needed was costing him.

Set Realistic Expectations

Mrs. Puff probably didn't need that kitchen sink

The holiday season is where we need to be extra careful about our spending. While we want to pamper our spouse or kids with washer/dryer combos, kitchen sinks, and whatever else Mr. Krabs forced SpongeBob to buy for Mrs. Puff, the joy of spending quickly evaporated once he realized how much money he (or rather, SpongeBob) had spent. Be realistic with your budget and you and your loved ones' expectations, and find a balance between the two. Remember, breakfast in bed or a handwritten card is both heartfelt and personable.

Set a Savings Goal

One millionth dollar savings goal

You'll never reach a financial goal until you decide what it is—say, for example, a million dollars. Then start tracking your savings contributions and watch as you make progress toward that goal. It will help you stay on track and motivate you to keep going.

And when you understand the value of a hard-earned dollar—or even your first dime—you'll have the proper motivation to back up your savings goals as you make sacrifices to achieve it.

It's important to understand the value of even a dime

Spend Money to Make Money

Investing in advertisement is money well spent

For some endeavors, you have to spend a little money to see returns. Case in point, Mr. Krabs boosted his customer satisfaction levels by giving away free toys and providing on-demand movies. Another suave move was his investment in a TV commercial to increase publicity. Sometimes a small investment can pay off in big ways.

Share Your Wealth with Those Who Helped You

Sharing is caring

When you reach a financial milestone, take the time to acknowledge those who helped you get there. When Mr. Krabs finally earned his millionth dollar, he knew it was time to celebrate with his trusted employees who made it all possible. He also knew the value of inspiring his employees to do their best by recognizing the employee of the month (even if it was always the same person). When you invest in your employees, they'll invest back in you. It's money well spent.

Recruit Family and Friends

Friends can help you save

A professional may not always be in the budget for everyone. Recruit family and friends for tasks like moving, redecorating, yardwork, etc., and take inventory of the skills and talents they have. Know a hairstylist and have an upcoming affair? See if they'll do it for free or at a discount. You can also offer to trade services outside of your expertise.

When Mr. Krabs needed to repaint his house, he saved money on hiring a professional by making use of his valued employee (and Patrick). 

However, keep in mind that there are certain tasks that are worth hiring a professional for—case in point, after all that time SpongeBob and Patrick spend painting, it all came off when Mr. Krabs couldn't manage to "say it, not spray it."

Get Creative/Repurpose

With a little imagination, a krabby patty can become a pizza

In trying times like COVID-19, certain goods or services may become obsolete. Mr. Krabs showed excellent versatility by hammering several krabby patties into a pizza when a customer asked for it, thereby expanding his market and pivoting into a related field.

Are your sales or customer retention rates lacking? Try hosting an event, whether virtual or in-person, like Mr. Krabs' culture show and comedy nights hosted at the Krusty Krab. Let your imagination be your guide.

Another sound marketing strategy is to get inventive and bring in outside offerings, like Krabby Land. Mr. Krabs pounced on the market opportunity to engage the youth community and drew them in with the promise of a playground and mascot. Meanwhile, when he discovered SpongeBob's hidden talent for karate, he capitalized on it and drew huge crowds.

"I love ka-ra-te!" "I love money-eh!" "I hate all of you."

Hopefully all of Mr. Krab's financial tips have inspired you to get out there and save towards your financial goals! It's never too late to get started.